Hot Burning Coals Story
When I was 10 years old I read a story. It was about a 10 year old girl who lived
in the Northeast in about 1750 AD. This girl lived in a farm community where
families lived at a distance from one another. One day there was a terrible storm,
and her family's fire went out. So this young girl trudged with her small covered
rot iron kettle through through a freezing storm and deep snowdrifts, until she
reached a neighboring farm. There she was able to place some of their hot
burning coals in her rot iron kettle, then return to her home. That day she saved
her family's life, because they were ble to rebuild their fire, and restore warmth
and light to their home.
I have been using this story with clients for 15 years to explain the purpose of
anger. We all must learn that anger, in the form of hot burning coals, is necessary
for sustained effort towards important tasks and goals. It is only when anger
turns into rage that the flame flares excessively and burns up everything in sight.
Then there is nothing left, not even hot burning coals. So it is important to learn
to never give up legitimate, important and necessary anger. Instead, we convert
that anger to sustained light and energy, persistence, and determination. We use
anger to become physicians, social workers, or archetects. We use anger to
change the things that must be changed. We use anger to protect ourselves and
others and our communities. We have all known people who try to 'get their
anger' out. They spread a nasty energy all over the people in their lives. But then
they are spent. They make no change, and see no progress. They have lost the
momentum for problem-solving that the anger could have provided to them.
They are without power, and the other people in their lives are tired and sickened
by the unhealthy atmosphere.
So the moral of this story is that Anger is given to mankind to build what needs to
be built, and to solve the problems that need to be solved. It is good, and it is
only the misuse of feeling and belief and invasive action that is hurtful and
destructive. So save your anger, and use it to create the world you want for
yourself, even if it takes a long, long time!
When I was 10 years old I read a story. It was about a 10 year old girl who lived
in the Northeast in about 1750 AD. This girl lived in a farm community where
families lived at a distance from one another. One day there was a terrible storm,
and her family's fire went out. So this young girl trudged with her small covered
rot iron kettle through through a freezing storm and deep snowdrifts, until she
reached a neighboring farm. There she was able to place some of their hot
burning coals in her rot iron kettle, then return to her home. That day she saved
her family's life, because they were ble to rebuild their fire, and restore warmth
and light to their home.
I have been using this story with clients for 15 years to explain the purpose of
anger. We all must learn that anger, in the form of hot burning coals, is necessary
for sustained effort towards important tasks and goals. It is only when anger
turns into rage that the flame flares excessively and burns up everything in sight.
Then there is nothing left, not even hot burning coals. So it is important to learn
to never give up legitimate, important and necessary anger. Instead, we convert
that anger to sustained light and energy, persistence, and determination. We use
anger to become physicians, social workers, or archetects. We use anger to
change the things that must be changed. We use anger to protect ourselves and
others and our communities. We have all known people who try to 'get their
anger' out. They spread a nasty energy all over the people in their lives. But then
they are spent. They make no change, and see no progress. They have lost the
momentum for problem-solving that the anger could have provided to them.
They are without power, and the other people in their lives are tired and sickened
by the unhealthy atmosphere.
So the moral of this story is that Anger is given to mankind to build what needs to
be built, and to solve the problems that need to be solved. It is good, and it is
only the misuse of feeling and belief and invasive action that is hurtful and
destructive. So save your anger, and use it to create the world you want for
yourself, even if it takes a long, long time!
- © Copyright by Nancy Carter, LCSW, ACSW