Guidelines for Maintaining Poise in a Difficult World: Print Article
Know that there will always be people in your world who will make your life
more challenging and difficult. Know that there will always be opponents. Some
will be persons of good will; others will be your enemies. Never ignore an enemy or
his/her actions. Stay aware and learn the appropriate response. Each action of an
opponent is an opportunity for meaningful thought and action for a person of integrity.
The outcome of the spiritual/moral lessons gained will include self-knowledge, self-
mastery and self-enhancement. It will also be true that you will provide inspiration to
others with troubles greater than your own, and thus your discomfort will mature into
meaningful service.
Remember that your actions are part of your own self-development. You are
always creating yourself, with each act and with each decision. Thus you must respond
to others, not according to their motives or actions, but according to the dictates of your
own conscience and self-ideals.
Measure all statements for truth. Respond to truthful statements no matter who
says them. If twenty statements are made, and only one is truthful, then respond to the
truth. Be aware of the other statements, and know that the appropriate response to
them is disinterested acceptance.
To Love is to invest energy in the best interest of another person. We are all
part of a whole, and what is truly in the best interest of one is also in the best interest of
the whole. Therefore, when surviving a difficult environment, make all responses
consistent with the best interest of the spiritual essence of the other person.
Wherever we invest energy we receive a return on that energy.
The matter receiving our investment is strengthened, and the energy compounds and
grows. Energy invested in gossip brings more gossip,and still more energy will be
invested in gossip. Energy invested in truth brings more truth. Energy is never
depleted; therefore it must be invested wisely, in terms of outcomes desired.
Whenever a lie is spoken, turn the head or body away from the speaker for a
moment. The movement shows that you are aware of the untruth, but affirms to your
inner "self" that you do not believe or accept that statement. Say nothing about your
disagreement, unless you are dealing with a reasonable person.
If meanness is expressed, look a few seconds into the eyes of the speaker,
then look away and address another person or issue. Your action indicates to all
concerned that you are aware, you are not afraid, but you find their statement
uninteresting and unimportant. Say nothing unless you are dealing with a reasonable
person.
While turning yourself away from all that is destructive and irrational, focus
energy on personal/professional goals. Whenever disorder is increased, give love
and good will to someone who will use it well. Thus you will be choosing your own use
of energy and your own state of mind.
Take responsibility for your own weaknesses. They will become obvious in a time
of crisis, and you will have an opportunity for growth and change.
Admit minor defeats quickly and laugh at them as soon as you can. You will
lose many battles but you will win the war.
Fear, anger and sadness are essential to selfhood. No environment or
relationship is worth their sacrifice. Use them to face the challenges of your life.
Appropriate use of these survival emotions ensures that when the struggle is over and
the war is won, you will be in good health. There will be more to you than there was
before the craziness began.
Hope for vitality, creativity, truth, joy, strength, peace and love.
Know that God loves you. Know that somewhere in this world there is someone
who would understand how you feel and why this struggle is essential for you.
Hold absolute faith in the positive outcome of this temporary confusion and
disorder.
Know that there will always be people in your world who will make your life
more challenging and difficult. Know that there will always be opponents. Some
will be persons of good will; others will be your enemies. Never ignore an enemy or
his/her actions. Stay aware and learn the appropriate response. Each action of an
opponent is an opportunity for meaningful thought and action for a person of integrity.
The outcome of the spiritual/moral lessons gained will include self-knowledge, self-
mastery and self-enhancement. It will also be true that you will provide inspiration to
others with troubles greater than your own, and thus your discomfort will mature into
meaningful service.
Remember that your actions are part of your own self-development. You are
always creating yourself, with each act and with each decision. Thus you must respond
to others, not according to their motives or actions, but according to the dictates of your
own conscience and self-ideals.
Measure all statements for truth. Respond to truthful statements no matter who
says them. If twenty statements are made, and only one is truthful, then respond to the
truth. Be aware of the other statements, and know that the appropriate response to
them is disinterested acceptance.
To Love is to invest energy in the best interest of another person. We are all
part of a whole, and what is truly in the best interest of one is also in the best interest of
the whole. Therefore, when surviving a difficult environment, make all responses
consistent with the best interest of the spiritual essence of the other person.
Wherever we invest energy we receive a return on that energy.
The matter receiving our investment is strengthened, and the energy compounds and
grows. Energy invested in gossip brings more gossip,and still more energy will be
invested in gossip. Energy invested in truth brings more truth. Energy is never
depleted; therefore it must be invested wisely, in terms of outcomes desired.
Whenever a lie is spoken, turn the head or body away from the speaker for a
moment. The movement shows that you are aware of the untruth, but affirms to your
inner "self" that you do not believe or accept that statement. Say nothing about your
disagreement, unless you are dealing with a reasonable person.
If meanness is expressed, look a few seconds into the eyes of the speaker,
then look away and address another person or issue. Your action indicates to all
concerned that you are aware, you are not afraid, but you find their statement
uninteresting and unimportant. Say nothing unless you are dealing with a reasonable
person.
While turning yourself away from all that is destructive and irrational, focus
energy on personal/professional goals. Whenever disorder is increased, give love
and good will to someone who will use it well. Thus you will be choosing your own use
of energy and your own state of mind.
Take responsibility for your own weaknesses. They will become obvious in a time
of crisis, and you will have an opportunity for growth and change.
Admit minor defeats quickly and laugh at them as soon as you can. You will
lose many battles but you will win the war.
Fear, anger and sadness are essential to selfhood. No environment or
relationship is worth their sacrifice. Use them to face the challenges of your life.
Appropriate use of these survival emotions ensures that when the struggle is over and
the war is won, you will be in good health. There will be more to you than there was
before the craziness began.
Hope for vitality, creativity, truth, joy, strength, peace and love.
Know that God loves you. Know that somewhere in this world there is someone
who would understand how you feel and why this struggle is essential for you.
Hold absolute faith in the positive outcome of this temporary confusion and
disorder.
- © Copyright by Nancy Carter, LCSW, ACSW